Fun ways to irk Inheritance cycle characters
by Josatex
Summary: It's pretty self explanatory. It is a list. You may run and scream now.
1. Murty

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: Well, here goes. I did get some of these ideas from other sources so all credit to anyone who recognizes anything. I don't own anything recognizable. As a side note, I also really like the word recognizable.**

Victim # 1- Murtagh (every ones favorite, scary, anti- social, evil dragon rider. And I mean that in a good way)

Dye everything possible (hair, dragon, sword, clothing etc.), a hideously bright shade of neon pink. Or orange. Or purple. You get the idea.

Tell him he's a depressed creepy traitor nobody likes. Watch him either crumple in despair or turn into a spaz.

If he has a spaz, wait until he's finished and then nod slowly. Say "yes, you definitely need anger management counseling" and walk away.

Hi-jack thorn and laugh at the murtys reaction. ( I'll just let you imagine that scenario)

Call him Murty relentlessly.

Go up to him, slap him and say "I can't believe you cheated on me! It's over murtagh!" Burst out in tears as well. This is especially interesting if you're a boy.

Poke him and don't give any explanation.

Make him watch the Eragon movie. I don't think I need to elaborate on that.

Lock him in a room full of crazed fangirls. Inform them they can do whatever they like with him.

In a public place, point at him and yell at the top of your lungs "EEEEK! It's Morzans son!!!!! Everyone flee!!"

Spread *odd* rumors about him. (Eg. That he's gay)

Call him an emo and don't tell him what it means.

Call him Darth Vader and hum the Imperial march whenever he enters a room or talks or eats or does anything at all.

Tell everyone that he's really a girl.

Stalk him while humming mission impossible music. Hide badly whenever he turns around.

Tell him about his hundreds of fan clubs.

Introduce him to the horrors of fanfiction. Watch him go stark raving mad after two or three hours of this.

Call him a vampire and attempt to ward him off with garlic. His reaction should be caught on video as blackmail material.

If he tries to kill, which he will, you point behind him and scream "oh look, the Varden!"

Whap him with a stick continuously

. Pimp thorn.

Tell galby that murtagh has a large crush on him. Elaborate on this by sending galby letters with murtaghs name on them, each pronouncing his undying love and devotion to galby. This'll start some rumors all right.

Mis- pronounce / mis-spell his name. This should be easy.

Call magic "the Force".

Tell him Eragons hotter than him and nobody loves him at all.

Tell Arya murtagh thinks leather makes her look fat and he expected her to be more pretty when he found out she was an elf.

Lock him in a room with Eragon and Roran. Come back in 1 day to see the out come.

Sign him up for counseling. If you can, get Dr. Phil or Oprah.

Dart around the castle suspiciously and give him dark, plotting glances. See how long it takes him to crack and ask what you're doing. Answer "Planning your unfortunate and untimely demise". Watch him twitch uncontrollably.

Laugh at any and all plans he comes up with

Run after him screaming like a maniac with Zar'roc. If he tries to escape on Thorn hold it to his dragons throat and threaten him.

Blackmail him using #18 into dressing up as a girl and announcing his love for galbatorix to all of uru'baen.

Sing the cookie jar song unstoppably. If he threatens you burst into tears and run up to a random person screaming "He's a meanie! Don't let him hurt me!"

Well, that's it for now. Let me know if you have any preferences for who to torture *cough* I mean annoy, next. If I don't get anyone's input I'll just do Angela.


	2. Toads and frogs and turtles, oh my!

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters

**A/N : This is the second chapter.**….

Victim # 2- Angela (...…..She is awesome!)

Get her to give a long, unrepeatable, speech that lasts a long time. Then pretend you didn't hear her and ask her to repeat it.

Tell her that neither toads nor frogs exist. They are both really, truly turtles! This will drive her up the wall!

Say "watch out for ferrets" constantly.

Ask her why she doesn't ride a broomstick or cackle. Say she isn't a real witch, just a pretender.

Ask her just how old she is.

Hide solembum and tell her the ferrets got him.

Blackmail her into poisoning Eragon. Or Nasuada.

Get her bitten by a mad rabbit. Claim it was an accident. Even though you stuffed her pockets full of carrots.

Inform her Solembum has a crush on her and wants to ask her out. (Her reaction will produce good blackmail material!)

Lock her in a room with tenga.

In a game of knucklebones, cheat her out of three buttons and a rather interesting shard of crystal.( Brisingr, pg. 166)

Pay Elva to irritate Angela whenever Angela tries to control her.

Force feed her earwax and roasted cabbage.

Use her various herbs and stuff to make a salad. Give the probably poisonous salad to Nasuada; telling her Angela made it just for her.

Come crying and screaming to her. When you finally tell her what's wrong, say "I got a paper cut", and burst into a fresh bout of tears.

Play monopoly with her and cheat constantly.

Get her to do some difficult magic. As soon as she's done go up to king Orrin screaming "the witch is casting evil magic! Off with her head!" Make sure you run screaming this throughout the entire varden camp.

Introduce her to Fanfiction!

Pester her constantly about her life.

Get her to read twilight,( the absolute worst book on the planet!). After 2 chapters she'll be completely insane.

Tell her she's a fictional character based on the authors sister. She'll _love_ that.

Interrupt her in the middle of one of her obscenely long talks.

Make something blow up in her tent.

Well, how was it. I'm sorry that this one is shorter than murtaghs, Angela has much less info about her. I did my best. Next up is eragon!


	3. The gary stu

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N : Okay, here's Eragons irking. Haha, that sounds funny! And yes, I will now shut up and let you read the story.**

Victim #3: Eragon ( The whiny protagonist of the entire series, who happens to be a Gary stu, wonder of all wonders.)

Tell him that Selina isn't his real mother. His real mother is Angela.

Make him watch the Eragon movie. Ask him how he kept his hair completely perfect in the middle of battles and fights.

Melt down his sword, Brisingr, and remold it into hideous earrings. Or wind chimes for the creative ones out there.

Point and laugh at him whenever he walks by and don't give any explanation for your behavior.

Call him a Gary stu and snicker when he asks you what it means.

Run through the Varden camp screaming "Look out, it's Galbatorix! Everyone run!" When Eragon comes out of his tent dressed for battle yell "haha, punked you!", and run for your life.

Call him Luke and ask him what happened to his light saber.

Go up to him and say in a creepy, low voice, "Luke, I am your Father".

Tell Arya Eragon thinks she looks fat in leather. Watch in the shadows as she goes over to Eragon and gives him hell.

Make him read fan fictions relentlessly. Linger for a while on all the shipping speculations.

Dye Saphira orange.

Tell Eragon that you saw Arya kissing Vanir. This should start some interesting rumors.

Show him the multiple fan clubs and all that junk on the internet.

Lock him in a room with several fan girls and Arya. Videotape the outcome for blackmail material

Call him Frodo!

Whenever he's talking to saphira or someone else in his mind, pat him on the shoulder and whisper "Eragon the Voices do not exist."

Dye his hair pink with sparkles.

Get everyone to call him princess sparklestuff.

Carve "Eragon and Nasuada love each other" in the menoa tree.

Hi-jack saphira.

Giggle and point whenever you see Eragon and Arya together. Or Eragon and Angela.

Mis-spell/ mis-pronounce his name constantly. See if he screams.

Sneak into his tent at night. Scream "galbatorix" and watch him flail awake. Post the results on YouTube.

Tickle him in front of all the Varden.

Paint all his clothing bright hot pink.

Show him this list.

When he faints dead away, put make up on him.

**Well, how was it? Islanzadi is my next target. Please review!**


	4. Ewwizzy

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: Here is the long awaited 4****th**** chapter!**

Victim #4: Izlanzadi (annoyingly proper and polite queen of the elves, whom I shall reduce to a quivering ball of nerves by the end of this chapter)

Call her "Ozlanzadi" and sing "we're off to see the wizard" whenever she walks by you.

During Christmas, paint Ellesmera bright shades of red and green. Call her Scrooge when she yells at you.

Peer at her and say "I thought elves were a lot smaller".

Tell her Arya got kidnapped by Galbatorix. Again.

Inform her on how Eragon feels about her daughter.

Burp at the table.

Ask her how old she is.

Inquire as to whether her ears are real or not. Poke them suspiciously when she says they are.

Clap your hands after she says something.

Speak the ancient language, using atrocious grammar.

In the middle of a supremely important council, burst in with a large rock screaming "I found a dragon egg!!!!!!" at the top of your lungs.

Show her a copy of Grimm's fairy tales. Force her to read it and then recite it at the aghaeti blodhren.

Replace all her clothes with jeans and a t-shirt.

Slip meat into her food by any means possible.

Get her on a sugar high and make her give a speech by threatening to tell everyone that she's really a spy for the empire.

Call her Mon Motha.

Moo mysteriously whenever she's around important people.

Mis-spell her name.

**A/N: I'm soooooooooooooo sorry it took so long to update, I'm such a procrastinator, and I've been really busy. Once again, I'm so sorry!!!!!! (Not that anyone probably cares that much…..)**


	5. IT'S BALDY!

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: All righty, today's victim is Galbatorix! (….. Kay, we don't really know anything important about him yet, but whatever… on with the story.)**

**-Look at him critically, and then say he isn't a cool villain compared to voldemort or Darth Vader. Tell him you are extremely disappointed with his performance.**

**-Leave out huge signs for the Varden pointing to the "secret" treasury where he alledgably stores the last dragon egg...**

**-Call him a ganondorf wannabe.**

**-Giggle until he asks you what's so funny. Tell him that you "accidently" set fire to Uru'baen.**

**-When he panics, scream out "YOU'VE BEEN PUNKED" and run for your life.**

**-Have the last dragon egg in alagaesia hatch for you. Wreak even more havoc with the help of your super-cool-awesome green dragon.**

**-Tell him Murtagh committed suicide. (Seeing as Murty's about 1 second away from doing it for real, this is a perfectly believable lie)**

**-Show him fan fiction and the many ways he's portrayed in them.**

**-Make sure to also show him the slash fics.**

**-And the romances with his multiple beautiful daughters.**

**-Whenever he gives an important speech, (ex., to his soldiers), sneak up behind him and tickle him with a feather. **

**-Be sure to video-tape the resulting spasm.**

**-And post it on YouTube.**

**-Remind him it's his and only his fault his dragon died.**

**-Tell him Morzans back from the dead. And very angry.**

**-Paint the entire castle pink with multi-****coloured**** sparkles. This includes the servants, everyone else in the castle, Shruiken, all the furniture, everyone's clothing, and of course, the mighty king Galbatorix himself… (Snicker, snicker……)**

**-Make sure you take pictures of the sparkly pink-ness fest.**

**-Use the before said pictures to blackmail him into leaving the varden alone, setting free Murty and Thorn, and releasing Shruiken. (my version of book 4, lol)**

**-Poke him at inopportune moments. Until he goes crazy. **

**-Force him to listen to Lady Gaga's music. (No offense meant to anyone who likes her music. I don't)**

**-Forge love letters to Nasuada, and then send them to her. Make sure they have loads of little hearts with arrows through them. And also be sure that the paper is pink. AND do it in super-mega fancy handwriting for extra points.**

**-Get him on a sugar rush.**

**-Burst out crying at random in front of him and several important officials. Claim he stole your blankie.**

**-Bribe, (or blackmail) Angela the herbalist into confessing her undying love for the king of all Alageasia.**

**-Give him a garish, cheep, badly made, plastic bracelet. Claim it's a friendship bracelet, and bully him into wearing it at all times.**

**-Get him to come to your school for career day (impossible, I know, but hey, this is fanfiction. Anything is possible)**

**-Call him baldatorix.**

**-Tell him that in the eragon movie, he was really ugly AND bald.**

**-Shave his head so he can look like himself in the movie. Use this as your reason when he asks for one.**

**-Give him a clown wig to wear in place of his real hair.**

**Okay, and there was yet another chapter! I'm really sorry it took so long, I procrastinate a lot and I normally need a kick in the rear to do anything at all, so it's actually a wonder I update at all. Either way, please tell me what you think. ****And whoever "h" is, my story does not suck, and neither do I. So please keep your foul comments to yourself. That goes for everyone who reviews my stories. I don't mind if you give me constructive criticism or compliments, but flames are vulgar and immature.****  
**


	6. Control freak 101

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: Well, here we go again. Today's "special" guest is… Nasuada! (The completely dedicated leader of the Varden, who happens to, in the "expanded universe" of the Inheritance cycle at least, have a crush on our dear friend Murty. Oh the fun I shall have.)**

Dance around her throwing flowers into the air while singing: "Nasuada and Murty, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Run around the camp yelling "Galbatorix and Shruiken are coming to decimate the camp!"

Laugh when everyone panics.

Tell Eragon that Nasuada secretly has a large crush on him. Punctuate this by giving him really bad love poetry, (which you wrote yourself, of course,) and claiming you stole it from her tent.

Watch the impending confrontation between the two of them. And laugh some more.

Poke her without any explanation until she breaks down and asks you what you want.

Tell her you want a unicorn to eat. This should get a … unique reaction.

Talk whenever she's talking. A good time to do this is during important meetings that will decide the fate of the Varden.

Spread rumors that you saw her kissing Murty in the Varden's control tent. Add to this by mentioning that she's cheating on Eragon by doing this. Tell Eragon himself these rumors as well.

Tell her that the entire Varden is secretly plotting to overthrow her and make Eragon the leader of the campaign.

Pay several random soldiers to stand near her tent and loudly plot the supposed rebellion.

Extra points if you can get Eragon to do this as well.

Bribe Saphira into eating all of the animals the Varden possesses. This includes the warhorses. Particularly Nasuada's private mount, Battle-Storm, who should be eaten right outside her tent.

If you're too compassionate to do this, set them free and watch the hapless soldiers attempt to capture them.

Call her a control freak.

Storm into a very important meeting, preferably one with ambassadors, and acuse Nasuada of stealing your teddy-bear.

With that, go into her private tent and grab a really ugly stuffed bear out from under the bed, which you "accidently" left there. Show the bear and demand justice.

Call her Nassy. It sounds like a disease.

**A/N: Wow, this one was actually really hard to do. There isn't much info on her character likes and dislikes, so that was a difficulty. Anyway, vote on the poll in my profile to choose who you want to annoy next: Brom, Arya, Saphira, Blodhgarm, Orik or Roran.**


	7. Miss manners

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: All right, just for the 3 people who voted for Arya in the poll on my profile, she shall be my next "contestant". MWAHAHAHA!**

Slip meat into her food.

Show her the entire book series. Then introduce her to Christopher Paolini. This'll make some fire all right.

Get her and Eragon on a blind date. Secretly videotape the entire thing using one of those super cool midget cameras.

At the aforementioned date, send them to a movie. Also, make sure they serve meat and only meat at the restaurant you send them to as well.

Tell her that Faolin was a complete wuss-puss when it came to Urgals.

Also tell her it was her fault, and only her fault that he died.

Blackmail her somehow into wearing a dress at all times.

Turn her into a vampire and get her to bite everyone she even mildly dislikes. Then have them all go after Eragon. Now THAT would be worth seeing…. (Just for the record, I personally hate vampires. ...I have no idea how I'd turn her into one, but...)

Call her a tree hugging hippie. Giggle mysteriously in a suggestive manner when she asks what it means.

Ask her repeatedly if she's a jedi.

After she says "no" about one hundred times, widen your eyes and say "Ooohhhhh".

When she asks you about THAT, whisper in a shocked and scared voice, "So, you are a sith!"

Then pull out a plastic light saber and hit her with it.

Show her the Eragon movie, then introduce her to the producers and the actor that played her.

Force her to go to a family reunion. Do the same for Izlanzadi. And all her related family. Make sure to bring up the subject of Eragon's feelings for Arya. Several times.

Get her drunk, and then videotape the results of said drunk-ness.

Beg to know her secret of youth. Don't accept the "It's because I'm an Elf" excuse.

Lock her in a room with Angela and Jar Jar Binks.

Braid her hair with thousands of fancy pink ribbons while she's sleeping. Or, if you don't know how to braid, just tie her hair into multiple knots that are next to impossible to get out.

Show her the elves in Grimms fairy tales.

Or lord of the rings.

Ask her to tuck you in at night.

**A/N: Yeah, nothing really to say.**


	8. Broom

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: All right, for the poll that very few people voted on, it was a tie between Brom and Saphira. Due to personal preference, I decided to do Brom! I'm just going to pretend he didn't die in this, so deal with it. I promise to do Saphira next though.**

Dance around him telling him you'll tell Eragon who his father is.

Spread rumors that Izlanzadi really has a crush on him.

Be sure to have them confront each other after they hear the aforementioned rumors.

Ask him repeatedly how his dragon died. He **will **lose control, trust you me.

Casually walk up to him and inform him that Galbatorix just killed his only son. Then yell "PHYSCH" and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.

Tell him about the Eragon movie. No elaboration needed.

Then tie him up without warning and make him watch it. (Disregard the fact that he can incinerate you with magic. Do not try this at home. Seriously.)

Poke him and/or stare at him without any explanation.

Call him broom or something similar instead of Brom.

Ask him every question you ever had, answered or not. (e.g., why doesn't glue stick to the bottle, where do the eraser bits go, why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup, if the police break down your door do they have to replace it? Get creative. )

Make him read Twilight. And see the movies. Make sure to do this one last, because I'm not sure if he'll make it.

Introduce him to fanfiction. And the many slash/ romance fics.

Spar with him and kick his ass at it. On the first try.

Tell him Morzan's back from the dead and extremely angry. On second thought, don't do it. I think he'll actually like it. (You know, revenge and all that crap.)

Call him a stalker for following Eragon everywhere.

Tell him Joed found a secret passageway into Uru'baen. After he gets really psyched up about it, tell him where it is. He won't like it.

Tell him you think you found his rider sword. Take out a pink plastic Spork and give it to him with much flourish.

Spray-paint his hair pink to match his "sword".

Tell him Nasuada has a crush on Eragon.

Call him Obi-wan. When he asks why, explain about the star wars-inheritance cycle resemblance.

After that, whack him with a red lightsaber while wearing a Darth Vader suit. Tell him that's how Obi-wan died.

Run up to him, screaming and yelling that you found another dragon egg. If he believes you (doubtful), and asks you where it is, triumphantly pull a rock out of your pocket.

Soon after the previous, um, _method, _run up to him screaming that a dragon hatched for you. Pull out a badly painted lizard.

Inform him on how Oromis and Glaedr feel about his temperament. When he yells that he doesn't have a bad temper, smile sympathetically and say "Oh muffin! It's okay that you can't control your anger!" Watch with interest as he tries to keep it in check.

**A/N: I think I did okay on this one, what with how little information there is on him. Please vote on my poll as to who you want to see irked after Saphira. **


	9. Rawr

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: Sorry for not updating before this, I had other stories to expand on. Here's Saphira.**

The absolute easiest way to irk her is to, obviously enough, kill Eragon. I won't do this because he might be important in the near future. Unfortunately…

Spray-paint her bright orange.

Show her dragon stereotypes from earth. Be sure to include the dragons from harry potter in your "presentation".

Separate her from Eragon for an extended amount of time.

Spread rumors that she's just a really big newt that Eragon stuck wings onto.

Do stupid things.

Attempt to convert her into being a vegan. This ought to have… interesting results.

Mispronounce her name on purpose. Mis-spell it as well whenever you have the chance.

Run up to here screaming that you found another dragon. When she gets all excited, pull out a TY plushy dragon. Call it Fred.

"Accidentally" push her into a hole filled with dangerous animals.

Bribe her into eating a dwarf. This will have unpleasant consequences.

Tell her about a (fake) prophesy you made up. Be sure to have it include sheep, the little mermaid, hamster cages, and Raman noodles. Incorporate all these into an actual prophesy and you get a virtual can of dr. pepper!

Make her watch little kid programs where the dragons look like tyrannosaurus rexes. Then introduce her to the producer.

Get her hooked on sugar.

Or caffeine.

Leave her alone with Angela for a while. At the end of this, she **will** be babbling nonsense and completely insane.

Tell her even Shruiken has a bigger fan following than her.

When she asks what a fan following is, introduce her to this magical, wonderful, and completely retarded thing known as… the Internet. Dun dun duuuuuun!

Dress her up as a pterodactyl for Halloween.

Attempt to steal her teeth, blood, etc. for potions ingredients.

Try to "slay" her with a stick.

Show her this list.

Bedazzle her with smiley face stickers. Or those encouragement ones. You know those ones that say crap like "good job!" and "amazing". I'm off topic again, aren't I?

Make comments on how ugly she is. I claim no responsibility for what she actually does to you for this. Suffice to say, it will not be good and I don't envy you.

Tell Eragon she's had an affair with solembum.

Ask her how many Disney princesses she's kidnapped and eaten.

Kick her butt in monopoly. Cheat frequently if it comes to that.

Get her stuck in a random doorway after claiming she'd fit thru perfectly well. Be sure to take pictures for your photo album.

Hail her as a goddess like the elves do. Overdo it excessively. (Kiss the ground she walks on, sacrifices, etc.)

Sing the song that never ends. Endlessly.

**A/N: What did you think? Whoever can think up a somewhat sense-making prophesy gets the virtual dr. pepper!**


	10. Their parents didn't love them

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: … I have nothing to say. How surreal is that? Today's contestants are the Ra'zac and the Lethrblaka. All 4 of them.**

Poke them.

Hug them

Spray-paint them pink, purple, etc.

Pimp the Lethrblaka

Ask them what their names are. When they don't tell you or answer at all, give them names. I think you all have a pretty good idea of what names to give them.

Refurnish Helgrind to look like something out of Barbie princesses' dream come true. A.k.a, lots of pink, lace, sparkles, and fake jewels.

Tell them Galby called. When they ask what the king of all Alagaesia said, say that the king wants them to drop dead.

Come up to them with a pretty, bright coloured humming bird. Say "oh look, it's your long lost sibling! His name is Frederick! And he looooves you both!"

Call them ninja's because they wear all black. Try to get them to do some ninja poses so you can tape them.

Make them see themselves in the Eragon Movie. Angeeeeeeeer…

Try to get them to eat out of a bird feeder.

Call them the Rackazack.

Compare them to Tash from Narnia.

Just as they're about to sleep, go up to them and whisper in their ears (if they have any… if they don't, try your best!). Say: "Eragon is coming for you…" Then cackle softly.

Spread your theory that they are really Ernie and Bert in disguise.

Attempt to feed them bugs.

Replace their weapons with pointy sticks.

Make immature comments on how the Ra'zac 'ride' their parents.

Place a betting poll on who would win if it was both Ra'zac and Lethrblaka vs. Eragon and Saphira.

Use Yo momma jokes around them.

Lock them in a room full of immortal rabid hamsters. Be sure that the hamsters are hungry.

Make fun of how they pronounce their S's. Call them snakes.

Imitate their breathing.

Then call them Darth Vader clones. And laugh. Laugh at them I say!

Call them a traditional nuclear family. Then laugh your face off and run like *navi*.

Ask the lethrblaka why they have such delinquents for children.

Then sign them all up for an appointment with Dr. Phil.

Forbid them from eating Dr. Phil. When they try to, which they will, spritz them in the eyes with a spray bottle.

And make them be vegans.

Compare the many similarities between them and Murty. (eg, hate sunlight, emo tendancies, want to kill Eragon, have ruined Eragon's life in multiple ways, work for baldatorix.)

Trick them into pecking a sheet of metal. Somehow.

Get them to come to karaoke night. Make sure Brittany spears' songs are on the karaoke machine.

Hook them up on a blind double date. Laugh at uproariously and tape the results for that starting-to-get-really-big YouTube channel.

Show them some fanfiction. Try to incorporate as much slutty romance and slash as possible.

Come to Alagaesia and annoy them.

Leave them in a mess like Murty.

**A/N: Well, who do you want next? Your opinion is taken into account.**


	11. Kitty cat

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**A/N: Mwahahaha, here kitty, kitty, kitty!**

**Solembum: I thought you said in Sugar Highs that you wouldn't irk me!**

**Tameera: Wrong, I simply said I wouldn't post your reactions! You need to pay attention to the small print. Anyways, here's Solembum's irking, brought to you by me!**

Go up to him late at night, when he's almost asleep, and whisper "I tot I tawed a puddy tat! I deeed, I deeed, I did taw a puddy tat!' **(I fail at Tweety Bird imitations, don't I?)**

Get one of those 'stuffed mouse on a string' toys and throw it in his face repeatedly with no explanation. Or until he finally cracks and half-heartedly hits it with his paw so you can videotape it and use it for blackmail.

Or, for you chickens, you can give him an explanation. There is a catch though. You have to make it into a wise, confusing, prophesy-esque explanation like he does.

Get him high on catnip. Laugh.

Pour icy cold water on him. Innocently ask why his fur didn't change colours when you did it. Then run like *Navi*.

Meow at him. Be sure to hiss a bit as well.

Say "good kitty cat!" and try to pet him, hold him, scratch him behind the ears, etc. Keyword being 'try'.

Leave him in a room with several toddlers, 18 and half buckets of beach sand, and 42 large tubes of tooth paste. Laugh.

Have the aforementioned toddlers dress him in doll clothes and make him play tea party with them.

Inform him that from now on his name is Fluffy the Happy pussy cat. Or, for you eccentrics, shave him completely bald and call him Mr. Bigglesworth.

If you didn't shave him, style his fur with multicoloured sparkly hair gel.

Attempt to declaw him/get his teeth filed.

Compare him to the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. Punctuate this by giving him turquoise contacts and colouring his fur appropriately.

Call him an ordinary, run of the mill housecat.

Attempt to turn him into an ordinary, run of the mill housecat.

Say 'I don't believe in Werecats'. Watch him closely to see if he crumples up and dies like those pathetic fairies from Peter pan. When he doesn't, sigh in disappointment.

Tell him that when you dissect his name, it comes out as 'serious butt'. His reaction will be good blackmail material, so be sure to have a camera nearby.

Force feed him peanut butter. Laugh.

Tell Angela he wants to marry her. Laugh at the ensuing, unavoidable battle in the full knowledge you have created this mess.

Beat him up on SSBB. He hates that.

Get him to read Erin Hunter's Warriors series. Hilarity shall ensue.

Give him a warrior name. Something like 'Tuftear'. Lol.

Blackmail him into asking Angela to marry him.

Blackmail him into being your co host for the majority of your stories. Oh, I've already done that…

**A/N: Hmm, not a bad chapter. A little short, but that can't be helped. What do you think sol'?**

**-Solembum the Werecat is twitching uncontrollably in a nearby corner-**

**Solembum: The…Pain…The…Suffering…The…Humiliation…**

**Tameera: Pfft, what does a cat know? What do you guys think?**


	12. You're all great!

Fun ways to irk inheritance cycle characters…

**Okay, it's over. I'm worried that this is starting to get repetitive, and there isn't very much left to do, other than the really obscure stuff that most people wouldn't get. Also, I'm losing interest. I have so many other ideas, and this one feels like it's holding me back. I simply do not have the time or willpower to do this. I'm sorry, and thank you sooooooooooooo much to everyone who's reviewed. You all helped make my day by reviewing my story, and some of you even gave me some marvelous ideas to use. (Whenever I check my Gmail and see a review alert, I immediately read it. So each and every one of your reviews got…reviewed. Oh god, that was such a bad pun). I like this story and it was what got me hooked on fanfiction, so be happy! :P. Seriously though, it does have to end. Thanks to all of you, you were a wonderful audience!**

**-tameera, Aka, joss.**


End file.
